Day 7 ~Your Best Friend~

So I have thought long and hard about this post (as you can tell, since it's been days since I did a "30 days" post) and I've decided that there are a few things I want to tell you all.

Writing about "your best friend" brings up some bad memories actually hurts for me.  Looking back on my life, I've had lots of friends that were "best friends" at the time, but somehow, as we have grown, something has happened and we have drifted apart (or the relationship has blown up in our faces).  I don't really regret things in life.  I do, however, feel sorrow when I think about "what could have been".  I would not go back and try to do things differently, but I do wish that a lot of these friends and I could have grown together, rather than apart.  I know it takes more effort and more understanding, but it can really be worth it.  Most of my "best friends" have only held that title for about 2 years, and then *something* has happened.  I'm not going to say I'm guiltless, and I'm not going to say that it was always them, but the friendship ended.  Someone stopped talking to someone, and things never got worked out.  And it sucks.  I miss those people, and I miss those times.  It's so special to have that person who enjoys the quiet moments with you, the loud moments, can make a silly face and make you laugh, shares your interests and sends you random text messages-your best friend.  I miss the silly 2am conversations when we were so tired that nothing made sense and everything was funny.  And laughing until my ribs hurt.  

I am bonded for life to two people who I do consider best friends, but in other definitions of the term.  My mother and my husband.  

I can tell my mother ANYTHING.  It can be an over-share, it can be completely random, she hears it all.  Because trust me, I ramble.  (If you haven't figured this out already!)  She would do anything for me, and I for her.  She's my mom, and I love her dearly.

My husband has seen me at some of my worst times in my life, and he still loves me.  I remember being in my natural labor with our daughter, and everyone thought I was being so strong.  I wasn't swearing (well, not until the very end anyway), whining, or screaming (again, not until the end) I was generally holding it together pretty well.  They had just checked me and they thought I had regressed.  I don't think I was supposed to overhear them talking about how I only had so many hours to get to such and such point before I had to go to the hospital.  I went to the bathroom (assisted by my husband) and broke down sobbing.  "It hurts... I don't want to go to the hospital... It just hurts..." was all I could get out.  Mr. H was my rock at that point.  (And he was furious at the midwife letting me hear what she had said.) He told me I could do it, that we had the time, and that I would get the birth that I wanted for our child.  He was right.  I was strong enough, and his words and constant support helped me do it.  My best friend helped me do it.  

So with all that said, to the people I am friends with now, I do value you greatly.  I don't want to lose you.  I really enjoy the time spent with you all, and I make it a priority to do so.  I can't wait to see how our relationships grow and change (hopefully together).  But if for some reason we drift apart, I wish you all the best in the world.  To those of you who have already drifted from my life- I am a better person for having known you.  I treasure the memories that I have from our times together.  And I hope that life takes you where you wish you go.  Blessed be.